Saying ‘No’ to a person seems to be the most difficult task for many. No matter what the consequence is, we always end up in the same dilemma.
‘What if I say no?
‘I might sound arrogant’
‘They will hate me’
‘How to say no?’
The thoughts never end. The more you try to suppress your true feelings the more it will make you uncomfortable in life and also with the other person. The repressed emotions would accumulate and later on develop into a strong sense of hatred and anger towards the other person. So, it’s always better to make your points clear without making the person sitting next to you feel offensive about it. A few tips have been mentioned here which might make you feel more confident and assertive.
Accept yourself and others
Before jumping into conclusions you should always have a clear opinion about yourself and your viewpoints. Make sure that your points make sense and to what extent it is different from the other person. Sometimes, it is merely due to miscommunication. If there is any such issues try to figure it out. Making such judgments after analyzing all the important aspects will boost your confidence and increase the probability to say no to the other person.
Use polite words
The main concern regarding rejecting another person’s viewpoint is the mere thought or fear that the other person might feel offensive and the relationship would be ruined. We need to accept the fact that if we deliberately try to please the other person it would only create more problems. You should try to use more polite words like:
“May be next time, but not today”
“sorry , I am not interested”
“I wish I could, but I can’t”
Likewise you can use a variety of alternate phrases so as to make it more pleasing yet satisfying.
Practice it with others
There are some people in our lives who are more comfortable than others. So try to practice this method with them first. The higher the practice trials more will be your confidence. You might get the idea that there is no harm in saying a NO when you actually mean it. Ask the near ones for support and opinions about how to make the sentences more pleasing to the ears.
Focus on both the verbal and body language
Whenever you are trying to say no to a person try to make your body language appropriate to make the person okay with it. Try to give a smile and be pleasing. Don’t let the listener think that you are trying to mock them or simply putting it down. If you have a better option try to open it before them with ample evidence and reasons so as why you are saying a no and how it is a better option. There is no need to give an explanation but an alternative would suffice.
No virtual conversations
Here is where the majority of people go wrong. They try to end the conversation by a simple text message because it’s more easy and since you don’t have to face the person things seem quite easy. But when the time for real meet up comes things go out of hand. So try to have such conversations in personal. If it is a long distance one have a video conference with the person or even on a phone call. That would give you an idea of at least how the other person is feeling and so as to not ruin the relationship. Anyhow try to avoid text messages.
No means No